DREAM.

My dad is coming for the holidays on the 20th of December this Tuesday! It’s amazing news. I havent seen him for 2 years. My dad and I have a strong relationship, he’s my best friend, not only my dad who is incharge with half of the things i do.
He lets me and gets me everything I want, which im thankful of, all I want this for this chrismas in a camera! Photos are important to me, it’s all about the memories. Just looking back at the pictures and having laughs and memories about them.
And while he is here maybe I can take my mind off about the negativity that has entered me these past few days and the past week.
So my mom came up with the idea of getting him a present for him because you know, he does so much for us and we never give him anything in return. So I know I have time but you know, im still thinking on what to get him! I’m  getting my report card tomorrow, i’m not worried about it, but I still have this little nervous feeling in my stomache that I get kinda anxious on what I got. But I have no worries, Im doing well in all the subjects. Ah! Im just so excited to see my father, we chatted for an hour last night about are plans, and everything! He’ll see how changed I am, the last time he saw me is when i was 12, and now im 14 all grown up and matured than before. I love to bond with my dad, he really understands me and we always laugh and joke around, and when i comes to advice, he always knows what to answer, ofcourse when I asked him about boys last time, it was funny because he said I shouldn’t date and stuff but I can have guy friends and blah, which i totally disagree.
I don’t think dating is a crime at my age. Probably every father I know wouldn’t like their daughter dating ofcourse. But anyhoo, Im not using that advise he gave me about boys, I can date. But um..not the lets date, get it TOO serious, get engaged, married, have three children. Name them bob and blah blah. Yeah..no.
Hah. About the weight issue, im going to the gym every saturday for 2 hours, sometimes on wednesdays. I guess it’s ok. The food, better than before but it’s not like im on a strict diet anymore. I’m really lost, like too lost sometimes I dont know what to do. I hope anyone who is reading this doesn’t think im stupid, because I don’t even know what im typing sometimes. Most of the time I feel like a fail who is just maybe not fitting in. And sometimes I feel so good when I can get along with the boys and girls. It’s just mood swings..maybe.
I don’t know.

Honestly, sometimes I feel kinda good when you know, you’re hanging out with all your friends, laughing, getting along, saying hey to people while walking around. But when a person gives you a dirty disgusting look turns your day around, which is such a stupid reason for me to get all lost. I have such special friends, really. I don’t think I would have stayed like this if it wasn’t for all of them! I have so much inspiration, and i love them.
So, I was just looking at some of my teenvogue magazines, wow it would be amazing to be an editor or just be a model. While looking, I was thinking about my style if I even have one, which was my question lol. And then I was looking at my wall with SEXY posters/pictures of Cody Simpson, and I was like damn im short. Hahahahhah! Hes 5’11 and im 5’1..Omg im dang short! But it’s okay :)

Which made me kinda laugh today and still laughing at it now, is everyone knows me as the big boobed girl at school, and so my friend told me they were out and started talking about how abnormally gigantic my boobs are, and stuff you don’t want to know. I just couldn’t stop laughing, I dont want to be known for that! But it’s kinda funny at the end! Loool!

AIUGFAIYGFIDYGFFIYG I hope I get my camera! I can’t wait!
Everyone makes fun of people who has SLR cameras thinking they’re photographers, which im hoping im NOT one of those teased people because im recieving a SLR camera! But it’s mean! I mean what if they like cameras and taking photos it doesnt mean they are a professional, right?

I’m listening to Monday night Love songs on Radio One. Yes.
This is how I spend my monday nights.
Now good night beautiful world.

Added: I wrote this last night, my internet went last night! Have a nice week xx